*not this crush, dumbass*
I have had kind of a fickle past (childhood to be exact) if I talk about girls in my class. From class 6 th to 10th i.e. in 5 years, I had crush on 5 different girls. After one year ended, either the girl’s section changed or I realized that this is not working, so I moved on to another girl (#truestory). Except one of them, I think all of them knew that I had a crush on them. But just because everybody called it crush and not ‘love’, the girls never took it seriously and opted to crush my crush. And I don’t blame them. Instead I am grateful to them. Love in that age, are you kidding me? If that would have been the ishq wala love, I would have screwed my life a decade earlier (#fact). And my “How I Met Your Mother” story would have started with me as a 12 year old (#ridiculous). And I would not have met the amazing girl I am with right now.
But say whatever, those crushes are something that I remember more than vaguely from those days of my life. Even in these times of Facebook, I am in touch with just 1 one of them. But I still can recall those classes when this so called attraction happened year after year, with a new girl in focus every time. No gifts, no cards, no chocolates, no mobiles- that was a good time.
I believe if you are reading this post, you are adult enough and have grown up under normal circumstances and have gone through this phase of crushes and all. But if the young ones around you are not falling into crush and wasting their time on Xbox and PlayStation, tell them to have one now for following reasons-
1. You get to stare at the girl, legitimately – Good looking girls get stared a lot and it’s obvious for them to get disturbed. That makes them perfectly eligible to call their father/ brother and get you thrashed up/ report to parents/ morality lectures. But if you bring the crush part in between, things become smoother and kind of make sense. Until the girl is completely kickass cool and just don’t give a damn for a guy’s affection, chances are she won’t report the matter to anyone and WILL let you stare. Who does not like to be appreciated? Here are some tips to get you started-
· —Spread the news of your liking for her. Tell the common friends, bring her in every conversation among your group and make friends wait because you want to get a last glimpse of her before she leaves for home and won’t be back for another day.
· —Sooner than later, she will confront you about all this. The reason she will give- What is hell is happening? These crushes are a waste of time and you should study and blah, blah, blah. The reason why she is there- tell on her face how beautiful, how good looking she is, how adorable she is and how she changes your world when she is around.
· —Ensure you have innocence on your face while talking. Majority of the opposite sex creatures have in them to find out the major part of the truth through the expressions. Keep a simple face that reveals nothing.
2. You don’t want to be Saurabh – In Farhan Akhtar starrer Rock On, there is a scene came when Farhan meets his ex-girlfriend in a party. They look at each other, smile, have a small chat about what happened and what should and should not have happened and say bye. Typical Hindi movie scene, is not it? I quoted Rock On because I watched it last night with Saurabh. As far as I know, Saurabh has never had crushes and that particular scene won’t happen to him, ever. It is not something that you will die for but it is always good to meet someone whom you liked a century ago unexpectedly, even if you are married and got kids. Even few years down the line, you hit the chord immediately and there is no hesitation, no feeling of not being comfortable.
3. Future insurance – It is very much possible that from the earlier years of adolescence to the time of starting looking girl’s photos for marriage, you have had no good female friends. What do you do then? Yeah right, you ping that crush on Facebook. Until then, she was just another friend, lost among many. But now, she is not just another friend. She is thegirl whom you had a crush on in school and you have some kind of history with her. She knows you and that give you a great heads up against many others and this heads up can be a big, big plus. So, you ping her, you take her back to school days when she had at least one fan (it was you, moron) and then you tell her how alone are you. Attributing to the alarmingly decreasing sex ratio, chances are she will be dating someone but there is no harm in trying. It is like a game of probability. If she break up with her guy someday; you know whom she will be telling all the stories to (again, it will be you, moron). Mission accomplished.
4. Chances of getting along with her friends – If your crush has a friend who clings on to her like ant to sugar and Manmohan ji to Sonia ji; there are two probabilities
· —She might start hating you to the core and will collect all the bad (but true) things being sad about you, make a power point slide and tell your crush how pathetic you are, in bullet points.
· —She might herself develop a crush on you (this is a little filmy but we grow up watching Indian films where you can expect the unexpected).
In both cases, you have a good chance that if your girl did not approve of your affection for her; the ‘friend’ might be the one you get along with. At least, she will know how and who you are and things may start. The whole process I-have-a-crush-on-you does not need to be repeated.
I know this has been a long read and it’s been tough on you, but then, girls were never easy. They had always been complicated humans beings and they don’t like things being told, said or asked in a simple way. And to get them, you have to make efforts. And yeah, crushes are awesome. You should have one in your life.
P.S.- As far as I believe, I have not tried to make any cheap jokes or derogatory remarks here. This is written in pure humor and I feel I have not offended anyone in the 1100 words you read above (yes that is the count. You may pat your back now). If in any case, you have felt insulted or hurt, I apologize for the same.
And if you liked the continuous blabbering above and smiled, share it on Facebook to spread few more smiles.
(Image courtesy- Google Images)